Sweet Pea Farm

TRIBUTE TO MARIAH

"We are not keeping her" I said as I looked down at Kaitlyn. "But whyeeeeeeee?" she asked - looking back up at me, squeezing the furry, little black kitten with the big bushy tail. Asking me with that imploring uplift at the end of the "why" as only a four year old can do. The four year old, with golden blond hair, sun kissed skin, and bright, dancing eyes.

Kaitlyn, was aptly named "Bug" by my husband Bob and I at the time. It all started with "Kaitlyn", then 'Katy-Did" , then "Katie-Bug", then finally reduced to "Bug". And so it stuck. "Bug" is now 22, and still known as "Bug" to us. "Bug" was the daughter of the family we lived with on their property in the caretaker's house. "Bug" followed my husband and I everywhere, and did everything with us. She was essentially, like an adopted daughter.

"But she is so cuuute, I like her,"  "Bug" said to me with her bright dancing eyes pleading to have me change my mind. "I know Bug, but we already have 2 kitties, we don't need another."

So here is the story of "Mariah". A small, black kitten, with long flowing hair, tortoise shell pattern; rusts, golds, and bronzes splashed into her coat, beautiful round golden eyes, with the biggest plume of a tail you had ever seen, had strangely shown up on the property. I had lived there for a couple years already, and no animals ever "just showed up". This poor kitten was starving, ribs protruding, and obviously lost. Her tail, was the biggest thing on her entire body, big, fluffy and soft, like a little stole you would wear around your neck.

"I say we are keeping her" proclaimed "Bug". "Let's just try to fix her up for now, how's that, we can put her in the shed with blankets and food" I said. "Yippee!" Bug shouted jumping up and down. The kitten just snuggled in her arms further, happy to be held. "We are not putting her in the house, I want to try and find her a home" I stated. "Yeah, Ok" Bug smirked - looking at me from with a sideways glance, rolling those big, dancing eyes.

Each day, 3 times a day for 2 weeks, Bug and I would go out and visit with the little kitten, play, hold and feed her. I had to admit, she was adorable. I started to notice she had a wonderful, sweet, gentle disposition, and only wanted to be held. She played a little, but was happy to be held. Slowly her ribs started to not stick out quite so far, and her little belly became fat and round. Her coat improved and glistened in the sun. her big plumy tail got even bigger! She truly was a beautiful kitty.

I tried for weeks to find the possible owner of this lost little kitten. I put up posters. I went to all the local Veterinarians, inquiring if anyone had reported a lost little kitten. Nothing. No calls, no response.

"Well, what should we call her Bug?" I asked. "We will call her Mariah, after Mariah Carey" Bug said. "Mariah Carey has big hair, and so does this kitty!" I laughed at the little 4 year old blonde haired girl with the bright dancing eyes. 'Yes, you are right, so Mariah it is!" I said.

So, Mariah stayed. I took her to my Veterinarian for a checkup. We discovered under all that fluff and hair, someone had shot her with a BB gun several times. We extracted 3 BB balls from her skin. Neither one of us could believe it until we heard the loud "clank, clank, clank" on the steel top examining table in the back office of the Vet Hospital. "Are those what I think they are" I asked. "Yes, I guess they are", said Dr. Ed Fleischli. "Poor girl" I said. Mariah just sat still, purring and looking up at me with her big golden eyes, full of gratitude. "What a beautiful little angel of a kitten" Ed said. 'I know, she is beautiful, she is an angel, she magically appeared into my life, and she is staying with me now, I said". " Right Mariah, you now have a forever home".

Mariah proved to live up to her name. She was an angel. She was loving and gentle. She would look at bugs on the floor, and pat at them, but never even harm or hurt them. She would sleep with me at my head on my pillow. She allowed "Bug" to play and squeeze and hold to her heart's content and never used her claws. She did not want to go outside, and was content to be an indoor kitty.

Mariah was as devoted to me, as any cat could be. She would sleep in my office on my chair during the day. When I would walk into the room, she would look at me and spring to her feet with a little puurrrr-squeek! - looking into my eyes, big fluffy tail up, happy, big golden eyes alert.

Mariah did this each, and every day for the next 17 years. She endured 7 moves in that time, 3 businesses, a marriage and divorce, a bankruptcy, several relationships, variety of motorcycles, broken collar bone, and a garage fire. She and I went through many different life "things" together. I always knew my little "Moomie" would be there for me, waiting, happy to see me, springing to her feet with her little puuuurrr-squeek! - each and every time I saw her. She was one of the only consistent things in my life over the years.

She was here with me on Sweet Pea Farm for 3 years. I noticed she started losing weight. I increased her food. Then she didn't want her canned food anymore. "That's weird" I thought. For 16 years she had been the world's pickiest eater, now she won't eat the food she has liked for all that time. So, for the first time since she was a kitten, Mariah and I took a trip to the Veterinarian to get bloodwork done. She gave him a run for his money. I could hear her in the back room. I chuckled. The little "Princess Angel" was showing them a piece of her mind. Needless to say, the bloodwork showed absolutely nothing. I changed her food, and started giving her special canned food instead. I gave her a heating pad to lie on. I put her water and food where she could reach it without moving much.

Mariah's health continued to decline. I could see what was happening. It made me very sad to watch my little angel friend deteriorate in front of my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to "fix her". I am in the profession of caring for, and keeping animals alive and healthy. This was going against all my instincts - that I couldn't "fix" or help her. I got down on my knees and laid next to Mariah, and spoke into her ear. "Moomie, I will care for you as long as you are not suffering, you tell me when it's time to go, ok old girl?  I promise I will not let you suffer". Mariah sprung to her feet, bushy tail up and gave me her normal puuuurrr -squeek!

I got fluids from the local vet and for 3 more days, administered them to her. I fed her canned food mixed with water to her in a little squirt syringe. Each day, she got more and more thin. Each day, she would eat less and less. I was watching, and waiting. March 30, 2010 in the evening I heard Mariah moving around in my office at midnight. This was unusual. I went downstairs and turned on the light. She appeared confused and somewhat dazed at first, then cleared up. I knew my decision time had come. I placed her little thin body on her heating pad on the floor. "Moomie" - I think it's time". Her tail twitched angrily, and she sprung to her feet, tail in the air and gave me a "Puuuurrr-squeek!". I couldn't believe it.  "Ok, Ok, not yet" I said. I laughed. Then I cried. Because I knew.

The next morning I came down to my office. Mariah was lying on her heating pad. She turned her head, and looked at me. Then she put her head back down on her heating pad. She did not jump up, she did not give me her little puuuurrr - squeek. She was tired, and it was time. She was telling me she was ready. She was having trouble breathing, and appeared to be intermittently in pain. It was time.

I forced myself to pick up the ten thousand pound phone, and made the dreaded phone call to the vet, asking to bring her in. I was so choked up, I had to hang up and call back. They said they could see me right away. I wrapped Mariah up in blankets, with her little fluffy head and big golden eyes sticking out the top, and held her on my lap as I drove down the street to the vet hospital.

I held her and spoke to her, holding her little head in my hands, caressing her cheek as she drew her last breath. I watched the light fade from my little friend’s eyes as her spirit lifted into a happy new world, where I knew she would be forever free from all her physical pain, age and suffering. When their spirit goes, you know just by watching. You understand at that very moment, that a body indeed holds an essence, a living spirit inside, not just flesh and blood. It is a true blessing and gift to be able to experience this with someone or something you care about.

Her little body was brought back wrapped to me, neatly folded in a blanket, with a little pink flower tucked on the folds. I took Mariah home to Sweet Pea Farm, where she was to be buried in the grassy green meadow, with the sunlight and flowers that she could gaze upon forever.

I knelt down in the meadow with her little body at my feet. I placed her neatly wrapped towel with her little pink flower into the ground. I could smell the dampness of fresh earth and grass. I was surrounded by my 4 sheep, all watching to see what I was doing. I could feel their warm breath on my neck as I wept for my little friend. Willy, the male Ram, is very sensitive. He was upset at my tears and sobbing. He did not understand as I held my face in my hands crying, and kept bumping his nose on my cheek to try and get my attention. He had a look of concern in his big brown eyes, and kept puckering his chin.

I stood up, and picked up my shovel. All sounds stopped.. there was dead silence in my mind…… For a moment, time stood still. I looked down, I was thinking I was shocked at how brilliant green the grass was against the stark brown of the contrasting dirt. I raised the shovel and pushed it into the earth, hearing only the sound of the steel edge bite into the pebbled gravel and rocks, mingled with the meadow dirt. I hesitated before put the first shovelful of earth down into the hole. I looked at the neatly wrapped little body, with the little pink flower. "I will miss you Moomie" I said. I slowly pushed all the dirt into the hole, watching it become one with the meadow. I was only aware of the shovel and dirt at my feet as I methodically started filling in her grave. Finally finished, I put down the shovel, and stared down at the fresh mound. Slowly the sounds of the world slowly returned to my ears, and I became aware again, of my 4 sheep surrounding me, waiting, watching, and my chickens which were now in our midst.

I realized, life continues to go on and nothing ever stays the same.

For a week, I was unable to go into my office where Mariah used to stay. I would look into the room, in the dark, out of habit, expecting her little self to be there. I would come home after a day of work, only to realize, she wasn't there to greet me anymore. My heart would ache in sadness and grief for the loss of my little friend. I now am able to sit at my desk, and gaze out into the meadow a few weeks later from the very chair at my desk in which Mariah used to sleep. I see my sheep, my chickens, and little Mariah's grave out in the green meadow. I plan to plant a weeping cherry tree in her spot, with it's beautiful pink flowers gracefully trailing down, in memory of my little angel.  Little Mariah who made such a lasting impression on my heart and soul with her unconditional love to her very last breath.

To Those I love and Those Who Love Me

When I am gone, release me, let me go.

You have so many things to see and do.

You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears.

Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess,

How much you gave me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you have shown,

But now it’s time I traveled alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,

Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It’s only a while that we must part,

So bless the memories within your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on.

So if you need me, call and I will hear.

Though you can’t see or touch me, I’ll be near.

And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,

all of my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way,

I’ll greet you with a smile and say

“Welcome Home”.